Women you shouldn't kiss

It was my second trip to Afghanistan, almost two years after Bush had declared the major confrontation over. My travel bud and I were delivering about 2 million dollars worth of stuff to needy people in Afghanistan; ultrasound machines, school supplies, blankets, Y2K rations no one needed, an ambulance, that kind of stuff.

I should have known better but as I think back I had a bad pattern of kissing girls I should have stayed far from, but this one was different. This one could get you killed.

The first was a girl who lived about ten miles away from my house. I cut school, rode my bike ten miles, kissed her in the middle of the road when she got off the bus and road home before my parents got home from work. I spent the next week trying to hide from her at school by swapping jackets with my friends so she couldn’t spot me.

I guess when travelling one should bone up on local customs, but then what could possibly go wrong; one big white guy in the middle of Afghanistan.

As we met with the Minister of Health, a woman by the way, for the handing over of the ambulance and ultrasounds it was to be a big media event. I got in line with the rest of my group to meet the MoH. The three people in front of me greeted her with a Holy Kiss. Trying to be hip to the culture and adopting something I’d learned from watching my wife’s high society friends I also greeted her with a peck on the cheek. I didn’t realize I was the first man in the group. Can you say “Taboo”

Someone should have told me you can’t kiss the women in Muslim countries. Maybe the Burka’s and face veils should have given me a clue.

As soon as I kissed her I knew something was wrong. She squealed and giggled like a school girl and her and her little group of school yard friends ran away. I felt like Georgy Porgy. Meanwhile really big guys started confiscating video cameras from all the networks.

Oh well, somewhere in our mission statement we mention spreading “Peace and Understanding” amongst people groups. I guess they have a better understanding of the big guy from America.